Oh, Grudge! Oh, Grudge! How Do I Hold Thee?!

Tweet Grudges are a funny thing. Even funnier is the fact that I probably hold the record for keeping one. Even without food, water, or sunlight, those little boogers just sit there in my mind for years. They may not get any larger, but they're always there. They're waiting patiently for the day that I will bump into the poor fool that wronged me and he/she will make the foul mistake of approaching me, assuming that I surely won't remember after all these years. Wrong!

This isn't an intentional thing on my part. I blame my super-human memory. I sometimes don't even know that I am holding a grudge toward a certain individual, until they approach me. They can be much older, have gained 100 lbs., changed their hair color etc... No use. My Terminator-Esq brain will recognize them by a misshapen freckle on their earlobe or the bump on their nose. They make the mistake of smiling and speaking to me and the veritable poo-poo hits the fan. I used to try and remain calm, that didn't work. I totally suck at hiding my emotions. So, when having to choose whether to say my piece or look like a sweating, shaking, red face, idiot, I'll choose the former everytime.

The draw back is that, even though they absolutely deserve my ripping them a new one, I feel bad afterwords. Sometimes. Because, I really am a good person. I just don't think that anyone should ever get away with having mistreated another human being. Especially if they have never even apoligized.

So, Christy S., you little troll, remember when you said you were glad my daddy was sick and you hoped he died? Well, he did. But that didn't change the fact that you were ugly and mean and had no friends. Apparantly you haven't changed. After all these years, you are in the same situation. Try saying a kind word to someone every now and again.

Mary Ellen S.,yeah you there, with the frizzy hair, big ass, and a speech impediment. Remember when you were playing Hide the Sausage with my first husband? Sure you do, while I was working to feed and clothe our baby and his sorry self as well, you were picking him up in the truck that your mama bought you 'cause you graduated from Fat Camp and doing the dirty deed right there in the vehicle, in a patch of woods not even 5 miles from our house! Had you been clueless to the fact that we were married, it would be different, but that was not the case. I would have beat you silly years ago but you always ran when I approached you.

Now, I am above that sort of behavior. These days you look at least 20years older than you are ( must be your concience!), every man you ever dated or married has cheated on you, and you are on Reunion.com telling your sad story and trying to get a pity date. Karma is a bitch, ain't she? Not a bigger one than me, just faster at catching up with you.

Steve W. Steve, Steve, Steve! Remember when you made my days at school a living hell? All I wanted to do was bury myself in my school work and forget my life at home for a few hours. But you saw fit to trip me whenever you got a chance, mock me for getting free lunch, and point out to the other kids how out of style and old and stupid looking my clothes were? I want to thank you! Thanks so much for having such a crappy memory that you approached me, with your friends in tow lol, at a party, back in 1991. You asked me my name, told me how gorgeous I looked and wanted my number. I got to rip you to shreds in front of your peers and make you feel lower than a snake's belly! When I finished, you were standing all alone and crying in your beer.It hurts to be humiliated, doesn't it?

Oh, Grudge! Oh, Grudge! How Do I Hold Thee?!

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