*MY HAREM!* Look At All These Beautiful Faces! Follow Me! And Try To Keep Up, For Pete's Sake!!


Just Call Me Awful Knawful...

Where shall I begin?

   I'll start with the not so unusual (for The Castle of Chaos, anyway!) events that led up to my eventual near demise...

Tallen. God bless that child. In his almost seven years on the planet, I swear he has aged me twenty! I know him and his little quirks as well as I know myself. I am used to him. If I wasn't, I'd lose my mind. The only other people that can care for Tallen to my standards are his two oldest sisters. We've all had over six years of training and we needed every bit of it!

Anywho, Tallen goes through phases of being a night owl. These episodes arrive with no warning and leave the same way. My worst fear is that he would ever wander off into the woods and be lost. Honestly, if something happened to him, I would just lay down and die. So, even with alarms on all my doors and dogs that go apecrap, whenever someone stirs around at night, I cannot rest at all.

During these times. I go to bed as usual and I wait, half asleep, until I eventually hear the raspy breathing by my bedside that can only be created by my son's face, pressed snugly against the inside of a Transformers Bumblebee mask. (The first time this happened, it really did scare the tar out of me!) I open one eye and smile. Tallen says, "Mam, this isn't a joke. Come with me, if you want to live." Of course I want to live! So I take his little hand and follow him. I giggle silently, as I see his outfit in better light. Bumblebee Mask, Bumblebee bodysuit (tighter than anything Freddie Mercury ever owned), rain boots, brown work gloves (snatched from Hubs, I'm sure), and his Cars hoodie. The rest of the night is spent keeping him entertained, as quietly as possible. The next day is spent in a sleep deprived stupor. For me anyway. Tallen gets to catch up on his sleep.

Well, this past Friday was one of those nights. Just after daybreak, as Tallen was winding down, Ross awoke. I fed her and kept her entertained, praying someone would wake up and give me even a short nap. Eventually Hubs and Selly woke up, but it was still after 1 P.M. before I finally leaned back on the sofa and shut my eyes. I was startled awake a few minutes later, as Selly came running into the room, jumping and squealing and blabbering something about puppies being born. I peeled myself off the ceiling and followed her lead, straight out the kitchen door. As I stepped off of the landing, I stepped onto the paw of my dear dog, Chrissy. She jumped up and sent me rolling down the stairs. Bang! I slammed my left knee! Crash! I busted open my elbow! Slam! I busted open my other knee and twisted my big toe! Heck, that was just the first two steps! ROFL

I lay there, moaning in agony. I needed to gasp for air, but it hurt too bad. I felt like I might hurl. I sounded a lot like the Grape Stomp Lady, I'm sure. Hubs eventually helped me to my feet but I couldn't put any weight on my left leg. When I tried, the pain was excruciating and it simply buckled. Hubs had a hunt to go to so I wasn't able to go to the E.R. until hours later, when Renni got off work, at around 2 A.M. Now, I am in a leg brace and on crutches and I feel like I got smacked by a bus! At least nothing is broken, just a bunch of crushed and bruised tendons etc...

BTW, the dog I stepped on in fine.


  1. Sorry to hear about your accident. Hope you are feeling better soon.

    I have been wondering for a while and just have to ask, is your husband really that much of an ass that you had to wait to go to the ER???

  2. Thanks. Frances!

    His reasoning was that, if I was able to stand on it at all, it couldn't possibly be broken. And, if it wasn't broken, there really was no need to go to the ER

  3. Well, you are a better woman than I. I could not be married to a man like that.

    If I felt that I needed to go to the ER, I don't care if something is broken are not, Hubby would be getting the car.

  4. I'm sure his indifference was fueled less by his hatred of me and more so by his love of money. I'm used to him by now.


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