Paranoia

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Since the big Spider Fest that was going on, here at the castle, a few days ago, I haven't seen another specimen. However, I have popped awake, from a dead sleep, for the last two nights, feeling completely creeped out. I wasn't able to go back to sleep either time, until I baptized myself with some Deep Woods OFF! That gave me enough false security to return to sleep. Sort of like when you make "monster spray" for little kids, with just scented water. The smell made me feel safe enough to slumber.

   Making matters worse, Hubs returned from the store the other night and told me that he has spotted a bear, not even a mile from our house. Wonderful! My favorite species of bear is the Carnivora Epidermis Mattimus (more commonly called Bear Skin Rug). I swear, if I happen to spot that thing in our yard, y'all can change my name to Houdini,because I'm sure to leave you in shock and awe, with my never before attempted, "Faint,Run, Crap My Pants. All in Less Than 30 Seconds!" act.
 
   I met a coyote out in the driveway once. But he just sort of stared at me, like he had no clue what a human being is. Then he walked away slowly, looking back occasionally. It had the makings of a breathtaking National Geographic episode, except for the part where I was standing there in my T-shirt and skivvies, beating a tree branch against the house, while screaming, "Get the he** outta here! You mangy son-of-a-biscuit eater!" Good times! Living the dream, folks. Living the dream...
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