*MY HAREM!* Look At All These Beautiful Faces! Follow Me! And Try To Keep Up, For Pete's Sake!!


Can I Get a Toe Truck?!!!

There should be support groups for those of us who were children, back when parents thought a stumped toenail had to be ripped completely off.

     Imagine stumping your bare toe on a rock. You hobble to your mommy or daddy, certain that a hug, a kiss, and a bandage await. Snubbing, sniffling, you're already feeling a bit better, as the one who can make all things well kneels before you for a closer look at your injured toe. Then, like some battlefield surgeon, sent straight from the depths of First Aid Hell, he/she RIPS OFF YOUR TOENAIL!!!! RIPS IT CLEAN OFF!!!! I'm almost certain, in my moment of writhing pain/absolute horror, I witnessed fire in my mother's eyes, a menacing laugh escape her mouth, and possibly even werewolf-esque fur sprouting from her ears. I still have flashbacks.

   Even I, a wide-eyed child of four, with not even a nanosecond of medical training, knew that this was some jacked up, back-alley, old wives' tale, bullshit. I demoted my mommy that day. She was never again to be the blindly adored and trusted wiper of tears and healer of boo-boos. No other injury, short of a gaping chest wound would ever be presented to her for care.
My Jamberry Nail Shields Store!

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