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Victoria's Secret
Victoria's Secret
Is out of the bag...
My belly's dunlapped
My butt has a sag.
My eyelids are drooping
Plumb down where my nose is.
My boobs sway and dangle,
Like flesh covered hoses.
My once silky tresses
Are now grey and frizzy.
To read with no glasses
Just makes me all dizzy.
And can someone please tell me
Just why in Tarnation,
My sneezer's now hooked up
To my urination?
'Stead of cat calls and whistles
I hear, "'Scuse me ma'am.
Don't you have a daughter
The same age as I am?"
Despite all of that, 'least
My brain's not decaying.
Thank God for my memory...
Now, what was I saying?
© 2009 SRF-TGR
Thursday
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That was HILARIOUS! LOL!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
ReplyDeletevisiting from BPOTW.. this was fun !! Kool :)
ReplyDeleteVery clever. And unfortunately, I empathize completely. I knew it was time to stop wearing Victoria's Secrets when I started looking like the familiar image of Queen Victoria herself. :)
ReplyDeleteStopped by from BPOTW and cracked UP! This was great! I had a rather catty saleswoman at Victoria's Secret tell me once (while sizing me for a new bra and seeing my breasts) that it was definitely no secret that I had nursed four children... no... I didn't smack her but I sure wanted to...
ReplyDeleteOh, that's hilarious...and so true. Great poem!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing with BPOTW!
LMBO! Great poem!
ReplyDeleteFunny! ANd alas so true....
ReplyDeleteHAppy Saturday Sharefest to you!
Please visit me at SweeterLiving