*MY HAREM!* Look At All These Beautiful Faces! Follow Me! And Try To Keep Up, For Pete's Sake!!


Was My Face Red! Wednesday

Was My Face Red! Wednesday

Welcome to Was My Face Red! Wednesday! Most of us have, at one time or another, done something so humiliating, that we wished the floor would open up and consume us. Let's swallow our pride and share those moments with others! Our shame was not in vain, if it can put a smile on someone face! You tell me yours, and I'll tell you mine...

  Everyone is welcome to participate. Just leave the link to your WMFR post below.

Street Walker

 Until I reached my mid 20's, I had only had a small problem with sleep walking. Minor things. Like removing all the contents of the refrigerator and shutting the power off to it. Because I dreamed I was defrosting the freezer. Running through the house, because I dreamed I was being chased. I could never remember the event, unless someone told me, or I happened upon the evidence of my nightly ramblings. Sometimes, the details would come flowing back to my memory, in a fog. Sort of like remembering a dream, but not even that clear. Times of great stress seemed to trigger the episodes of sleep walking.

  I thought I had had the worse occurrence possible, when Cina was about 3 years old and her father and I were separated for a couple of months. I had the bad habit of always leaving the keys and my purse in my car at night. At the time, I had a job at a sewing mill and my shift started at 6:00 a.m. On that particular morning, I was running late. I hurried out the door and did a double take, when I realized that my car was about 15 feet further down the drive than I remembered parking it the day before. I got in and there were no keys. My purse wasn't there either. I panicked, trying to figure why someone had merely moved my car, yet stolen my car keys and my purse. Why not take the car as well? After all, it was an awesome, Special Edition,  Chrysler Lebaron convertible. Most men drooled over that car, with all it's chrome. It made no sense. Maybe it was a friend, playing a sick joke.

  Not sure what to do next, I made my way back inside the house. There, on the table beside my bed, sat my purse. Inside I found my keys. When I saw these, choppy memories of driving to my old job, at a restaurant about ten miles away, came flooding back to me. Surely, I hadn't. Nobody could really drive in their sleep. Or could they? Even worse, I had slept in the buff that night. Thank goodness it was summer and the kids had been elsewhere that night.

  A couple of years later, Cina's dad and I parted ways for good. I moved into a new place, just across the line, in Virginia. Life was hectic and money was tight, but I was much happier. Renni and Cota's father had moved closer and they were spending weekends at his place. His place was in a very bad part of town.  Cina's dad had went ape shit, when I finally got fed up with his abuse and had left. He made his way to my new place and tried his best to put me six feet under. As a result, he was under a restraining order and had to meet me at a store, near where Renni and Cota's dad lived, whenever we exchanged Cina. When you have three kids, with two fathers, a huge chunk of time is spent picking up and dropping off kids for visitation etc...

 During one of those drop offs, Cina's dad was being very belligerent. I was afraid to get out of the car. He had the bright idea of walking over to my window and spitting into my face. I drove away immediately and went to the police station to file a report. After doing so, I was on my way out of the station, when an officer, who was just entering the station, called out my name. My first name. I was surprised that he knew my name, as he was not one of the deputies that I had gotten to know so well during my years as a waitress.  Those deputies had become great friends of mine and the other gals that worked there and they were always cutting up and playing jokes.

I turned and asked, "Yes?"

"Where were you this past Thursday night?" 

"I was home in bed." I replied. There was a slight giggle to my voice.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. Really" I answered. His serious tone was making me uncomfortable.

"Do you own a black and purple bathing suit?"

 OK, this was getting beyond creepy.  I did own a black and purple bathing suit. At that very moment, it was sitting on my dresser at home, where I had left it for Renni to borrow.

"Yes, I do. Why?"

Ignoring my question, he continued with his interrogation, "Are you sure that you were home Thursday night? Or, did you happen to be walking around a drug prone area of town, wearing that black and purple suit, at around 2:00 a.m.?"

I had to laugh. This guy was good! Obviously, some of his co-workers had put him up to this. But, how did they know about the bathing suit?

Not laughing and obviously pissed that I was, his tone became even more serious.

"It was you, wasn't it?"

"Look, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about." Really, I didn't.

"Isn't your last name XX ?"


"And don't you live at XX ?"

"Uh, yeah, I do."

 Holy Shit! Not even the deputies that I knew on the force could have given him all this info about me!

"Well X, you should be very careful." He was being really sarcastic and getting very loud. "Because, someone, who just happens to look EXACTLY like you, with your EXACT name, and a drivers license that gives your EXACT address, was walking the streets over in XX, on Thursday night in YOUR black and purple bathing suit. I was on duty and saw her with my own eyes. I even questioned her and saw her ID." He was red in the face, so angry, I thought his head might explode. He turned and walked away quickly.

 My brain was whirring. WOW this man really didn't believe me. Me! The girl who has never been in any trouble. And he had recognized me on sight!  I really had been home sleeping. At the time, I had Burgundy hair and an eye piercing. Not to mention, a deep cleft in my chin and HUGE green eyes. A fairly unique look. Not likely that some other lady was around that looked exactly like me. But even if that might be possible, no way would she have clothes just like mine and a fake ID with my information.

 The only possible explanation is that I must have been sleep driving again. The area he claimed to have stopped me in, was the neighborhood where Renni and Cota's daddy lived. Maybe, I had just driven there, like I had so many other days.  I have no idea where I would have parked my car or why I would have been walking. Plus, if I were only in a bathing suit, where would I have been carrying my ID? But, if I were wearing the bathing suit, I had to be asleep. No way in hell would I have knowingly went out in public, dressed like that! To think that a cop could have questioned me and everything, yet never awakened me, is mind bending. And that I could be back to my bed by the next morning and not recall a thing is surreal. But really, that is the only explanation. At any rate, it has troubled me for years and given everyone else around me a good laugh...


  1. Seriously, you are the funniest person ever! I'm glad that we found each other, I truly mean that. And it sounds like our ex's were brothers. I hope the two of them meet up and kick the crap out of each other. My ex still causes problems and he left 15 years ago. He was picked up and interrogated for 48 hours cuz they thought that he was the Craig's list killer. I prayed he was probed with a night stick. And then Karma caught me and now we are getting some serious threats. I can't wait to tell everyone this huge story! But it looks like the guy threatening us might get away! Of Course! But I still hope my ex got probed!!!

  2. just what i needed to read....that was too funny....however, its kind scary to think you can sleep drive. You got to get that checked..lol

    anyway, just wanted to thank you so much for the kinds words, just having a hard few days with my son and like a typical male it comes out sideways....but someone has to pay, so why not tammy, sherrie and bonnie...lol them there meanies

  3. LOL SonyaAnn! I can't wait to read THAT story! Right on! Re: the nightstick comment. Sounds like something I've wished on my ex...
    John, I've been supposed to go in for a sleep study for years but it cost a few thousand dollars and I have no insurance. I hope everything starts going better for you and your son.


I love comments!