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Go Figure Friday or Things That Made Me Go "Hmmm..." This Week

Everyone is welcome to play along!
Just leave a link to your GFF post below.

Here are this week's head scratchers and such...

I Wanted To Bitch Slap That Bill Collector!

A couple of months ago, we were bombarded by early morning calls from a certain number. If we answered, the person would hang up. So, we stopped picking up and let the answering service take the call. The messages were from a Mr. Freeman. Saying that he had some important legal information for Hubs' ex-step-son. That ESS needed to call him or one of his representatives should call. Well ESS hasn't even been on this property in 15 years. Plus, he lives in the pokey. So, I called Mr. Freeman and went through 10 minutes of nosey ass questions, proving to him that I don't even know ( this is true, never met him, have no plans to.) the guy and that I am not related to him. I tell him I want the calls to stop. So he puts me through to this woman named Virginia and she claims to be removing us as a contact for ESS.

I swear, the next week, Mr. Freeman starts the same stuff again. They don't want to talk to real people when they call, just leave threatening messages and hope the person they want calls back. So anyway, I was annoyed and called the place back and told them I was supposed to be removed as a contact. Was told that it must have slipped through and that it would definitely be taken care of.

Well, day before yesterday, the phone rings at 8:32 A.M sharp, from that same number. It woke the baby and Tallen. I was pissed. I listened to the message and it was the same script that Mr. Freeman used but this was a girl named Heather. I called the number back and here is the conversation.

Ring! Ring! A gruff voice answers, "Hello?" No company name, no nothing...

Me: "Yes, may I speak to Heather?"

Her: "Who is this?" ( I swear, it was just like I had called her house or something. This gal was very rude!

Me: "This is XXX, I am responding to a message, left on my phone at 8:32 A.M, from Heather."

Her: "Are you the person this message was left for, or are you their representative?"

Me: "Neither"

Her: "What?"

Me: "I said, 'Neither'. I am simply calling to let Heather know that she is barking up the wrong tree. So she doesn't call every morning, at the crack of dawn, leaving messages for someone who I don't even know, and waking my children in the process.

Her: "No need to get shitty lady, I'm not the one that called you. I am the one that can remove your number from the list of contacts." This is the point that my left eye started pounding and I wanted to drag this woman through the phone line.

Me: "LISTEN! I wasn't getting 'shitty', I called to speak to Heather. And obviously, you CAN'T remove me as a contact, because this makes the 3rd time in as many months that I have spoken to YOU and have been falsely told that my name was being removed. So you must just be the one that can LIE to me about removing me as a contact." Hubs, who hadn't been paying a lot of attention to the call, suddenly took a wide eyed interest LOL

Her:"Lady, you have us confused with another entity"(it was so funny how she kept inserting a few smart sounding words into the middle of her Jerry Springer Worthy/White Trash dialect.)

Me:"That dog doesn't hunt! Heather is calling from the same number as that jerk, Mr. Freeman, was calling from a few weeks ago and you are the same person he connected me to TWICE, so I could ask to be removed as a contact. Plus, Heather is obviously reading from the same script as he was, the messages were identical. Saying that ESS's paperwork had just crossed her 'desk' that morning and she noticed some important changes that she felt she should share with him. By the way, I know she doesn't have a desk. Neither do you. I can hear the rest of your collection Nazi's in the background harassing other folks. You're sitting in a plastic, Wal-mart, chair, at a folding table, aren't you?"

Her: Obviously annoyed by the desk comment but not denying it " If we have called, it is because you are listed as a contact for ESS."

ME: "No, I'm not. All y'all are doing is an Internet search for ESS and the results are listing other folks that are living or have lived at this address. That doesn't make me a 'contact'. That makes me someone that lives here. Someone who doesn't even know that guy.

Her: " You're claiming you don't know him?"

Me: "Absolutely. That's the truth."

Her: This lady watched too many episodes of L.A. Law as a kid and decides to go for my throat... In a very smart ass tone, she said "Oh, really? You don't even know him, but you just so happen to have the same last name as him? And you also live at the address we have listed for him? How strange..." Is this bitch for real?


Her:Her voice shaking now. I hope I made the smart ass  cry. "OK, I'll remove you from the list and we won't be bothering you again."

Me: "THANK YOU!" *click*

I was so mad that I was shaking when I hung up the phone. Hubs just stared in speechless disbelief...

Twilight Zone FreeCycle

 The other day, a lady posted an offer for clothes that were my size, shoes that were my size, and some purses.  I sent her an email, with my phone number. She called later that evening and told me that I had been the first to reply. I was so excited! I really need those clothes as most of the clothes shopping around here is for Hubs and the kids. The lady was very friendly and explained to me that the clothes were in great shape but that, since having her thyroid gland removed a couple of months ago, her weight has ballooned. She had it removed because they found tumors in it. ( The same thing that is happening to me!)

As we talk, Tallen is trying to climb up and get popcorn from the cabinet. I sit him off the stool and get the popcorn for him. Well, he has a melt down as he wanted to do it himself. I explain to her that he has Asperger's and sometimes over reacts to things. She then tells me that she has a 5 year old grandson with Asperger's! ( Hearing the Twilight zone music now lol) She goes on to describe the things her grandson loves to do. He has a lot in common with Tallen. They no longer live in the area, so she wants to give Tallen all of his books and toys and things that she had kept at her house for visits.

She goes on to talk about crafts that she enjoys, one of them being X-stitch. I tell her that the company I work for sells some software that might interest her. And that I am pretty sure I can talk to my boss and get her a copy. I then go on to explain to her how I got my job and the craft that led me to it. Turns out, she did the very same thing, until her Parkinson's got so bad that she had to give it up.

She also offered me new queen size sheets ( still in the package) for my bed, as she and her husband now sleep in hospital beds. She explained that she has a whole building full of stuff that I can have. Including Jewelry, unused makeup, and some household items that Renni and I can use. We talked for over an hour. I felt an instant connection with this lady. Later, I told Hubs about the call and the lady's name. Turns out they went to school together and one of Hub's cousins is married to her brother ( I think that's how it went).

Well, last night, she calls again and asks what size shoes and clothes does Hubs wear. I told her and she said that she had loads of button up shirts, business suits, and shoes that will fit Hub's. She is supposed to have all the things ready by tomorrow morning and call with directions to pick up. She lives just over the road, somewhere. Anyway, it is just strange how much we have in common. I think I found a new friend on FreeCycle.

Hubs Made Me Cry Yesterday

    I entered a contest at SITS yesterday that required me to go to www.fishfulthinking.com and create a storybook for my child. I really wanted to win the jump room and water slide for Tallen and Ross, plus the winning storybook, chosen by Goldfish, will get a $10,000.00 college trust fund for their child. I don't expect to win, but I figure it can't hurt to enter. So, I went to the site, not knowing what on Earth I would write. Before I knew it, I had completed a book for Tallen, with a poem that came to me, as I wrote it. I blogged about it and linked to the contest to get extra entries.

    Well, folks commented that the story was nice. My sister even commented and called me on the phone from work. When I hung up with her, I told Hubs that I wanted to show him the book that I created. ( Big Mistake!) He followed me to the computer and I went to the site and explained to him about the prizes that could be won and then read him the book. When I finished, he gave me a blank look and said, "And...?" In a tone that said, " What's so effing great about that?" I was like, " 'And' nothing, that's all there is, it's a book that I wrote for Tallen." He says, "Oh, it's some Autism thing..." I don't even know words to describe the shitty, indifferent tone that he was using. I got a huge lump in my throat, my feelings were hurt so badly.

  I got up and headed outside to check on my plants. I was crying, before I ever made it out the door. When I came back inside, I was still crying, I just couldn't stop. Not like sobbing crying, just silently crying.

When I walked in the door, he met me and said, "What is your problem? Why are you going all to hell, just because I didn't fall all to pieces over that book and tell you how great it was?"

I was like, " I didn't care if you thought it was great. I was just trying to share something with you. I  don't understand why you had to be so rude and mean."

He asked, "What did I say that was so rude and mean?"

I was like, You know exactly what you said, but I'll repeat it for you." And I did...

"That didn't hurt your feelings." As if he has the right to tell me what does and does not hurt me.

"Yes, it did. On several different levels. If I gave you a reaction like 'And...?', when you show me a picture of one of your dogs in a hunting magazine, that you are proud of, you would be deeply offended. Yet you don't understand why I am upset about your reaction to something I made for our son?"

"Well, you just took it wrong..."

"I took it, just like you said and meant it. Now just drop it. It just hurts my feelings more, each time I think about it. I will know better than to share anything with you in the future."

"Whatever, you just want to argue..." Typical him, acting pissed at me for getting upset, when I have every right to be.

I cried most of the afternoon, every time I replayed it in my mind. It just cut me so deep. When Renni came, I tried to read the book to her, because she didn't have her reading glasses, I couldn't even manage to, because I started crying again.

He tried to "apologize" later ( probably because he was getting hungry or horny or both). But it was in the context of how he didn't mean anything by what he said, that I just took it wrong. I wasn't interested in accepting. He was still making it my fault and taking no blame. I told him that if he could do what he did and sincerely not see why it hurt me, that he had some deep seated issues, that i could never hope to understand.


  1. HEY! Love your blog! I really wished that they had a button to push to shock the other person on the line... just a jolt to make me smile (bbrrrhhaaww ha) :D

  2. Thank you for visiting my blog. You have a very nice blog yourself and some pretty funny GFF's. Thank you for the laugh.

    Have a great weekend.


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