*MY HAREM!* Look At All These Beautiful Faces! Follow Me! And Try To Keep Up, For Pete's Sake!!


Shame On Me! Saturday

Ever done something really mean or sneaky, that was so darn funny, you just aren't able to feel guilty about it? Join in and write your own Shame On Me! Saturday post. Don't forget to add the link for it to the Mr. Linky form.

Back when my ex was stationed in Fort Bragg, NC, we finally found a little duplex apartment, that the military inspected and approved for us to rent. I have never missed that part of being a military family. It's like you have to get their approval for everything! I do miss the cheap groceries though...

Anyway, our neighbor up the street also happened to work side-by-side with my husband. I was always hearing stories from my spouse, about the latest scummy thing this guy had done. He was a habitual cheater and his poor wife had no clue. She adored him and was always singing his praises. Had she not been pregnant at the time, I probably would have told her everything, but I was afraid the stress might make her lose the baby. They also had a 5 year old son named Michael.

Michael's dad was really strict and hard on him. So, even though he was a highly annoying little boy, I tolerated the fact that he arrived at my door at daybreak and never left until the edge of dark. The day he showed up with an empty television box, announcing that his mommy and daddy had just purchased a new TV, I had a brainstorm. I made note of the brand of television emblazoned on the side of the box, located it in the book that came with my new universal remote, programmed it in, and waited for night to fall...

After putting the kids to bed and informing my husband of the plan ("If you hear shots fired, dial 911 and pray!"), I crept up the street and stood outside the picture window of Jerk Man's apartment. I peeked over the window ledge and saw the victim, sitting alone, stretched out in his recliner, like a king. I knew his wife was at Bingo and his son was most likely in bed, as it was fairly late. I held the remote to the opening in the curtains and pressed the volume up button. I watched as he jumped out of his skin and quickly grabbed the remote to lower the volume. Then I started changing channels rapidly, up and down, the look on this man's face was priceless, total confusion and just a hint of fear. He grabbed the remote and returned it to the previous channel and settled back in his chair. I gave him a few seconds to get comfortable and then hit the power button. He was cussing a blue streak! He got out of his chair, walked to the TV and looked it over, front and back, as if he could find the answer to this strange event. He turned the power back on and headed for his chair, just as he sat down, I shot up the volume again! He grabbed the remote and turned it down, but I immediately turned it back up. We did this ping-pong episode a few more times. Finally, in frustration, he threw the remote! That was my signal to get my ass back down the street!

I don't think I have laughed so hard in my life! Well yeah, I probably have... The next day, my husband heard amazing, wide-eyed, tales from Jerk Man, of how his house was haunted.I heard from his wife, that her husband had finally lost his marbles. How he was swearing that the place was haunted and would not listen to reason. She didn't understand his fear, as the whole time they had lived there, she had never experienced anything like that, and the TV worked just fine for her.

We never told them the truth. Even though I never got the satisfaction of ratting him out for cheating, I took comfort in the fact that I scared the crap out of him...

1 comment:

I love comments!