Top Ten Thursday

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Welcome to Top Ten Thursday! I created this meme to add a little bit of variety to Frump Day ( no longer Hump Day, not yet Friday...) If you would like to participate, just create your own Top Ten post about anything your heart desires and add the link below. Everyone is welcome to join in. This should get really interesting...

Top Ten Things I Swore I'd Never Say When I Grew Up and Now Say All the Time...

1. You'll poke your eye out!

I remember teachers, relatives, even older siblings of mine, calling out this ominous warning to us children. Something about seeing a group of kids having a bike riding, ball playing, tree climbing, Popsicle eating, good time, makes an adult want to put the fear of God in them. "Honey, I'm almost positive that I heard at least a couple of those kids laughing. Could you step outside and scare the pee out of them with that 'poke your eye out' thing?"

2. My House, My Rules!

As if a hormone laden, looks obsessed, self conscious teen needs one more thing to be depressed about. But heck, sometimes they just need to be reminded. This usually gets a reply of, "I didn't ask to be born!" 

3. We'll See...

I don't know why I waste my breath. I may as well go ahead and say "Yes". If I say, "We'll see.", the kids high five one another. Even they know it's as good as a "Yes".

4. Does This (Insert article of clothing here) Make Me Look Fat?

Face it, no man that would ever like to see us naked again is going to answer that question with a "Yes". Yet somehow, having that "No" in my pocket, makes me feel a lot better.

5. Do You Behave This Way at School?!

Of course not. Children and animals almost always behave better for strangers. Why? Because they are never quite sure how far they can push it with someone who doesn't love them like their parents.

6. I Know What You Were Thinking. You Were Thinking That...

When a kid does something that is really messed up and bad, we like to make them think that we knew what they were up to all along and just stood by and quietly observed, ready to pounce in when they screw up, with words of wisdom, pointing out the "lesson" that they should have just learned. In truth, we give them way too much credit for plotting out evil schemes. Most likely, he/she was thinking about Sponge Bob and chocolate, while flushing a whole box of tampons, pouring Tide in the aquarium, or putting the cat in the dishwasher...

7. I'm Going to Turn This Car Around!

No, I'm not. I know it. They know it. After spending two hours, washing faces, combing hair, finding shoes, turning off the lights, turning off TV's, checking the stove, checking the locks, going back inside, because I forgot to put on a bra, checking the stove again, making sure the dog has food and water, answering the phone that always rings just as I'm heading out the door, checking the stove again, getting four kids into car seats, booster seats, and seat belts, making sure they all have their hands on their heads, before I close their doors, and FINALLY making it into my own seat behind the wheel, NO WAY IN HELL AM I TURNING THAT CAR AROUND! Finally, we are on our way! Wait, did I remember to check the stove?

8. If that Were My Child

If that were my child, I would give him what for, show him that I mean what I say. Show him that no matter how loud he screams, he cannot have those squeezable yogurt sticks, that he only eats part way and then stuffs under the sofa cushions. I watch Super Nanny, so that makes me a bit of an expert. I would put him in Time Out, right here in the grocery store. The horror! That poor woman must be so em... "Tallen, stop climbing on the shelves. No, you cannot ride in the bottom of the cart. See the picture right here of the kid riding in the bottom of the cart? It has a line through it. That line means 'NO!' 

At some point, that child is everyone's child...

9.What is This World Coming To?

It seems that every generation, remembers their childhood as being much simpler and less scary. The world wasn't so chaotic. They could sleep with the doors unlocked. The funny thing is, when our children get to be our age, they will be saying the same thing. Even though they grew up in a time of 9-11, Operation Iraqi Freedom, BTK, and Meth labs...

10. No Dessert Unless You Eat Your Dinner!

I didn't really hear this much as a child, since we rarely had dessert. Heck, a lot of times, we didn't even have dinner. My sister and I used to dream about when we were older and had kids of our own. We would keep a big jar, full of candy, sitting on the kitchen counter for our kids to take whenever they wanted. 

At the time, I never envisioned that I would love to bake or that I would be married to the man that single handedly ( or hand to mouthly) keeps Little Debbie in business. lol For the sake of the kids health, I have to draw the line somewhere...

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