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Welcome to Top Ten Thursday! I created this meme to add a little bit of variety to Frump Day ( no longer Hump Day, not yet Friday...) If you would like to participate, just create your own Top Ten post about anything your heart desires and add the link below. Everyone is welcome to join in. This should get really interesting...
These are in no particular order, as I would be hard pressed to pick the worst. Most were equally bad. Not all of these were even dates, come to think of it, maybe I should just call them, horrible happenings with members of the opposite sex...
1. Let's go way back. On my ninth birthday, I was given a sock full of change by my step-dad and told that for my "present" we were going to the Friday night dance at the VFW. I had to use my birthday change and pay everyone's way into the dance. Five people in total. Lucky me. My childhood sucked beyond comprehension sometimes.
Anyway, we go to the dance and there just happens to be a boy there from my class. He wanted me to dance with him. Considering that, earlier that week, I had caught him eating one of the biggest boogers in the history of boogers, I declined. He kept sending me notes via his cousins, who were friends of my sister's. Finally, he sent me a ten dollar bill, with a note saying I could have it if I would dance with him. I just couldn't take my mind off him eating that booger, not even for ten dollars. He wound up crying and my sister and his cousins tried to make me feel like a horrible person. Only because I couldn't bring myself to tell them the booger story.
Years later, I saw his wedding announcement in the local paper. I had to wonder if that poor girl realized she was marrying a booger eater. LOL
2. Later in life, after divorcing Cina's dad, I had the brilliant idea that I was not going to be so quick to judge guys on first impressions. I decided to give anyone a fighting chance. That has to be the single most stupid idea I have ever came up with. It led to dates with a string of idiots. The likes of which, I could never even have imagined existed.
One of these was a friend of friends. We went on a total of three dates, before I stopped taking his calls. He was two years younger than me. He was also convinced that he looked just like George Straight. I have old socks that look more like George than he did. Every five minutes it seemed, he would say, "Oh man! I can't believe I am going out with an older woman. This is great!" I wanted to slap the taste from his mouth every time he said that. Luckily, while we were out one night, we bumped into a mutual friend and her daughter asked this guy if he was my daddy. I think he might have cried a little. That put a stop to his "older woman" babble.
The other problem was that he was cheap, cheap, cheap. He still lived with his parents, which isn't the worst thing in the world. He paid no bills and had a full time job. I worked and paid my bills, plus was raising three children alone. He would call me all the time. To the point of annoyance. I swear, he once asked me if I would start calling him instead, as he was running up his phone bill calling me. He didn't catch on that I wasn't calling him for a reason! The final straw was on what was to be out last date. He walked away from the table without leaving a tip, AGAIN! I just couldn't imagine tolerating someone that tight for the rest of my days.
3. Another friend of a friend ( do I never learn? LOL) This guy was a bouncer and seemed perfectly nice but he was not very attractive. I went to his home for dinner with him and his daughter's just once. His girls were adorable and starved for attention. The first big turnoff for me was the fact that he had a totally tricked out truck, yet he had no flooring down in his house. I'm saying there was this particle board looking stuff all the way through. He told me himself that it had been that way for three years. Also,he could have been taking a lot better care of his girls but sort of dumped them off on his mama a lot. He was a "caller" too. the final straw with him was when his poor retired mama called my house one day, asked who I was, and if I knew her son. I told her that I did and that she had even met me. it seems that when my number showed up on her phone bill, he denied making the calls and claimed not to recognize the number. What a loser. I didn't speak to him after that.
4. This one is a winner. For a few years, I had been causally acquainted with this man. He frequented two different stores that I worked at. He was always polite, but never had much to say. Well, during my stupid" everyone deserves a chance" phase, he happened to walk into the store where my sister worked, while she was on the phone with me. Hearing that he was there and remembering him right away, I told her to tell him hello. I think she gave him my number.
The next day he called and asked me out. We went on a completely normal date to dinner and to play putt putt golf. At the end of the night, when he dropped me off, I hugged his neck and went inside. The next date, we went out for steak and I don't remember doing anything else. I do recall that he kept insisting on taking me for a shopping trip, but I refused. Again, a simple hug, when he dropped me off at home.
The third date, he took me two towns away, to a nice seafood/steak restaurant. We were having a casual conversation about his plans to take his son to a electric car race in SC that weekend. I mentioned that I had plans to attend a Halloween party with my cousin, at a local club that weekend. He said, "No you're not!". I nearly strangled on my drink. "Excuse me?" He said, "You heard me! I'll be damned if I'll be engaged to woman who is cheating on me!." He was being really loud. Three men at another table looked angry and ready to leap to my rescue, if needed. I said,
"This is only our third date. That does not equal "engaged". Besides, attending a party with my female cousin hardly constitutes cheating." I chuckled as I said this, which completely enraged him. He threatened to show up at the party and "remove" me. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at this point. I told him that if he was stupid enough to ruin his son's trip, just to show up at a perfectly innocent party, where I would have my bouncer friends toss him out on his arse, he could be my guest! I contemplated calling someone else to drive me home, but decided against it, since we were so far away.
On the long drive home, we passed a truck stop/all night diner. I mentioned that I had thought about working there part time as I had heard the tips were really good. He tells me that he divorced his wife for staying with a job that moved her to the night shift. What this had to do with me, I have no idea. I asked, " You mean to tell me that you divorced a woman because she was working and helping to pay the bills?" He said, " Yes. I'm the type of guy who needs it all the time. I needed her home at nights." I wanted to puke. Why was he telling me this? I fell silent.
Closer to my town, he started ranting because I refused to conform to his ideal. He said, " I'll have you to know that I broke up with a 25 year old woman, just to go out with you!" I said, " That was your own stupidity, I never told you to do that. Besides, why the heck would you make a date with me if you were already in a relationship?" We stopped at a red light and that is when it happened. Amidst all the screaming and arguing, he reached over to my seat and GRABBED me in the crotch, like he were grabbing a football. I was totally taken off guard. I think I slapped him. I flew loose cussing him a blue streak. I tried to get out of the truck but he sped up so I couldn't. When I finally made it home, I jumped out without a word and headed for my door. He yelled from the truck window, "I'll call you!" I shouted back, " Don't bother, you crazy bastard!" But he did bother, for a week straight. I never answered. he left insane messages. He finally gave up.
5. The guy who took me for a romantic drive on the Parkway, then nearly wrecked us, because he was staring at the turned up rear of a woman spreading out a picnic blanket.
6. The guy who insisted on carrying my infant son, Cota, around the Dublin fair, despite my insistence that I would carry him. Cota developed a case of explosive diarrhea and pooped all over himself, the guy, and the floor. then the guy was angry at me, as if I had planned the whole thing.
7.Once, a male friend of mine, took me home with him to West Virginia, just to take my mind off things. We went out to his brother's bar that night. I was approached by swingers that asked if they could see my underwear. I declined.
I was approached my men offering to pay me to ride the electric bull. I declined. I thought we were receiving free beer all night from the owner of the bar, as he was my friend's brother. However, as we sat there, surrounded by more bottles of beer than we could consume in a lifetime, a man approached the table. He introduced himself and said he was from Texas. He said he had been sending the beers all night and " I've been watching you all night. You're the most beautiful woman here. Look around you. Just look how all these gals have let themselves go! I'm going to leave now, because I just can't stand it anymore." LOL
I heard more one liners that night, than I have in my whole life. The worst? I had removed my heels, as my feet were aching and was just in stocking feet. A guy approached and said, " I see you're barefoot. State law says you gotta be pregnant before the nights over!" GAG! I was thrilled the next day to see the Leaving West Virginia sign!
8. The blind date who took me to play BINGO. He was very competitive and became angry, whenever I got BINGO. Also, he wore his jacket all night. Were it denim or leather, it wouldn't have been so bad. But this was a red ski parka, that he had gotten free with Marlboro miles. It was mid-July, and this fruit cake would not remove his coat.
9. The guy who had a small truck and thumped rap music so bad that it made my ribcage ache. He drove through McDonald's and asked his friends for free food.
10.A guy who was a customer at the store I worked at. We only had casual conversation as I rang up his purchases. One night he came through the line with his mother, so she could meet me. LOL I had a boyfriend at the time and this guy knew that. Fast forward to the night of my birthday. My boyfriend had taken me out to dinner. Our drinks arrive and the waitress sits down our sodas and then sits a mug of beer next to my plate. I was like, " Excuse me, I didn't order a beer." She said, " I told him he was gonna get me in trouble and that it looked like you were here with your boyfriend." She pointed toward the bar. there, waving like a maniac and smiling, was the customer from work. Maybe he had heard me telling coworkers my plans for that night, I dunno. I asked the waitress to please return the drink to him and tell him no thanks.
Well my boyfriend was livid, yet he wouldn't say anything to the guy who sent the beer. he just kept spouting off at the mother to me. I finally told him that I had nothing to do with the beer, I had sent it back, and since he wasn't going to shut up and let me eat in peace, he could dine alone. I left the restaurant and went to the car. After a few minutes, I here a peck on the glass, there was the guy that sent the beer smiling and waving. I lowered the window, He said, " Hi, how are you tonight?" I was like, " Pretty food, before you started World War III! He could snap you in half and is really angry. Please get away from here before you get us both killed!" He did as I asked. That's the last time I went out with that boyfriend. I never went out with the guy who sent me the beer.
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