Many of us moms and dads, I venture to guess that I'm not the only one, sometimes do things that will never make it into the Perfect Parenting/Homemaking Hall of Fame. Because life doesn't always call for perfection. Sometimes it just asks for bare-bones survival skills. So I ask, "Is it so wrong that I...?
~ Let Tallen drink and entire 12 oz. can of Pepsi, when he has a puking Migraine, because the caffeine makes his headache go away faster than anything else I have tried? Then I play dumb, when Hubs wants to know why he is bouncing off the walls
~ Fake snore sometimes? Some women fake orgasms. I never have. But I do confess to fake snoring on occasion, just so Hubs will abandon ship and go to the sofa. Sometimes, I just need a decent nights sleep, one without farts, pointy elbows, and toenails in my shins. Not to mention the spontaneous hunching in his sleep, that threatens to break my spine in half! A gal just needs a break sometimes!
~Lick my contact lens? The grossest thing ever, I know. The other day, Selly and were driving to my MIL's and had the truck windows down. Something flew into my eye! Most likely a speck of dust, but it felt like a log! When I blinked several times, my contact lens popped out and landed on the seat. Staring in despair at that lint-covered lens, I realized that, if I planned on being able to drive the rest of the trip, I had absolutely no choice but to lick off the lint and pop it back into my eye. I know. EWWWWWWW! But hey, it worked and when I got back home, I immediately flushed out my eye and gave the contact a proper cleaning.
~ Lie to my children. Mostly just the little ones.
"I know you want another candy bar, but if you have two in one day, you'll get a uni-brow."
Both Sponge Bob and Dora have sick days, when they are far too ill to preform their usual TV show. Mostly this happens when I really, really, want to watch a show that is more in my age range.
"Every time you whine, a kitten dies." (Just kidding! But I have considered it.)
Also, there's a woman with facial warts, drawn on eyebrows, and poo poo breath, that babysits unruly children at Walmart and any other store. But only if the kids can't manage to control themselves and mind me. So far, they've never had to visit her.
~ Almost never wear a bra? I hate bras! I will wear one to a wedding, Baptism, or a funeral, but otherwise, I am bra-free. That rumor about going bra-less making your boobs sag, is total bull. My boobs are perky. ;)
I have a zillion more examples but, as I have to get back to the laundry, I'll save them for later.