Honestly. Actually, I have been looking forward to it for years. Although my first 40 years on this planet have had a lot to be desired, I can now forge ahead into my next 40 years with a renewed sense of self and the challenge of seeing just what great things I can accomplish in the future. The big day is on April 20th.
If I have learned anything in my life, one is that age really is just a number. I do not feel old. I am not pissed off at the world, because I am no longer 25. Shit, I hated 25! I still love Hip Hop, dirty jokes, and nookie. So I have not yet turned into the cold-heart prude that some folks seem to think the "Big Four OH" is supposed to make me. I, on the other hand, have always noticed that women turned 40 and, suddenly, a beauty settled upon them. A new beauty. One that made them look comfortable in their skin. Made them smile with their whole face. Even women that were never considered "beauties" before. I want that for myself.
Maybe I am over the hill. That's great, because now I can coast! I have had 40 whole years to learn what I do and do not like or want. Albeit mostly the hard way. I know what kind of woman I want to be. The type of people I enjoy being around. The things I love to do. I have favorite foods, clothes, and hobbies. The chances of my ever having to show my naked body to anyone for the first time again ever, other than medical professionals, are slim to none. Basically, I have most of the figuring out stuff behind me and years and years of doing what I love in front of me. I'm just not able to find that depressing.
I plan to spend my next 40 years traveling the trail that I have been building mentally for all these years. I'm sure there will be plenty of characters making their way into my story, along the way. I know exactly what I want to say, should I bump into some evil person from my past. I know who I want to hug so hard, they'll turn blue in the face. Who I want to thank for making a difference in my life. Who I want to sit with for hours, filling in the blanks of missing years, laughing till we cry. There are places I want to go, things I want to do, and people I want to see. I'll be sharing it all right here. I can't wait to get started... : )