Go Figure Friday or Things That Made Me Go "Hmmm..." This Week

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Yes, I am back! I have not posted since Monday. Mostly because I have been in too much pain to even think, let alone type. Here are this weeks head scratchers...

My Body Has Turned On Me...

It's true. I feel so betrayed. In ten days, I will be 38. That isn't old. Yet, without any warning, I can be smacked down for days at a time, with crippling pain. Pain that is so bad that, when I finally do pass out from exhaustion, I dream that I am the doctor, so happy that I am finally going to get some relief. Only to wake up, in agony, unable to even lift myself out of the bed. I never know where the pain will turn up. It may be my back, locked up so tightly that the slightest turn of my head brings tears to my eyes. Sometimes, it's my feet, feeling exactly like my heels are being ripped off and nails are being driven into the tips of my toes. The worst one, I think, is when my hands stop working. When it is agony to change a diaper, scramble an egg, comb my hair, or type. Sometimes, it is all of these and more together. There is no reason to it.

I am absolutely terrified at the thought of what shape I may be in a year from now. My real fear lies in wondering just who will do things when I can no longer move. My husband is a doorstep handicap, so to speak. The minute his feet hit the doorstep, he is waited on hand and foot. He expects this and I really wouldn't mind, if I were able and if he would help out more with other things. Or at least lighten up on me and do more for himself on my bad days. Tallen is a child that needs constant attention and help with things all day. Ross is still a baby and babies are a lot of work. The older girls are just normal kids, who don't always help out like they should. Like the ladies said on Oprah the other day, I think I should be looking for myself a wife! LOL

The Silence Of The Peeps...

My sister sent over some Peeps for Tallen and Ross. Ross is obsessed with ducks. If it is yellow, with a beak, it is a duck. I have never liked Peeps, so I don't buy them so Tallen had no idea what they were and carried his package around with him all day. Finally, Hubs pointed out to him that they were candy and should be eaten. Tallen gave one to hubs and when he started to eat it, Ross began to scream. We thought this was because she wanted a bite. I pinched her off a little piece of one and tried to feed it to her but the screaming continued. She finally said, "No! Don't do dat! No hurting da duckie!" She finally came around the next day and started taking little bites from the bottoms of her Peeps. After each bite, she kisses the Peep on the head and says, " I sowwy Duckie!"

Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me...

Poor Tallen has started a strange thing over the past few weeks. He isn't afraid of the dark and never has been. But lately, every evening, it starts...

"Is the sun going down, Mama?"

"Yes, Tallen."

"Oh No! The sun can't go down yet!" (Tears welling up in his big eyes)

"Don't cry. The sun will be back tomorrow"

"No it won't. It will never be back again. It's all over. It will always be dark." ( My hunch is that he wouldn't be a good candidate for answering phones at a suicide hotline...)

It is the saddest thing. It is also depressing. He cries himself to sleep. But, each morning, he is so excited that the sun comes up, it's like Christmas or something. He gets up in the wee hours and starts watching out the picture window. I just wonder how long this phase will last.

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