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Go Figure Friday or Things That Made Me Go "Hmmm..." This Week

Everyone is welcome to play along!
Just leave a link to your GFF post below.

Here are this week's head scratchers and such... Get some coffee, this is a long one!

Cluck Off, Hubs!

 Sorry, if I didn't get around to replying to comments yesterday, etc... I had a long, bad, day. I tried my level best to remain calm and stay in a good humor. But some days Hubs has a way of making me so mad, my ass could chew tobacco. To  make sure everyone is on my side and not Hub's be fair, I need to include a little bit of historical information...

Hubs Is A Coon Hunter

 For those that don't know what that is... The hunter dresses in loads of Mossy Oak camo gear (why the camo is needed when they hunt in the dark, is beyond me). Then he loads up his coon hounds into a dog box, on the back of the truck and takes off for a patch of woods. They pull over and release the hounds. Then they stand there and listen for the hounds to "tree". As they listen, they smoke cigarettes and gossip. They swear it's just "shooting the shit" and not gossiping ( everyone knows that only women gossip), but I beg to differ. Then, when they hear the dogs "strike" on a tree, they walk and walk and walk some more, till they reach the dogs. Then they shine their very costly hunting lights ( a regular flashlight just won't do the trick) up into the tree and look for the coon. Finally, the light will land on it and they'll stand there and say things like, "Oooooooh Weeeeeeee! Dat dere's a big sumi-nuh-bitch!" and "I swunney! Dat's da biggest coon I ever seed!" Then they get their dogs, walk back to the truck and load them up, drive to a new patch of woods, and do it all again.

  Nothing is more shameful for a coon hunter than to have their dog track something besides a coon. Usually, it's a possum. Occasionally, it's a deer. Hub's prides himself on how his line of dogs stick to the track and aren't distracted by other animals. He is also sort of a Grand Poobah, in hunting circles. Folks come from all over to hunt with him and to buy puppies. He is on the board of one of the hunting associations and is vice president at a local club. Our phone is always ringing with folks calling to ask for hunting advice etc...

  Me? I tolerate his dogs. They live in a nice dog run and he treats them like babies. My main complaint is that they never shut up! Also, they're sort of stupid and goofy. Plus, when I was dating hub's and had came over to visit one day, one of his coon dogs grabbed my 4lb Yorkie and shook her till he broke her neck. It took hubs 5 years to replace my little dog, because he waited and waited to find one dirt cheap ( Want some copper wire? Try to pull a penny from Hub's fingers!) and even then, he picked the dog that he liked and bought a boy. This has always been a sore spot between us. As I think that most guys would have went straight away and bought their girlfriend another dog, if their dog had killed her's. Anyway, on to the next point...

There Are Some Really Unstable People Living In The Boonies!

 I have seven brothers and sisters but am only close with a couple of them. My brother and his family moved into a house about five miles away, over six months ago, and I haven't even so much as bumped into them at the store. We just run in different circles. 

  Well, on Tuesday, I found out that someone had almost killed my brother's wife on Mother's Day. She was home alone, my brother was out of town working, and their teenage kids were out and about. She had let her dog outside to do it's business. When she went to the door to bring it back in, it wasn't there, and she stepped outside to call for it. When she turned to walk back inside, two men grabbed her from behind, and beat her face into the storm door repeatedly, breaking the glass and cutting her face severely. They dragged her inside and were beating the hell out of her. One of the blows knocked her onto the kitchen table, face down, with her head hanging off the end. They flipped the table over and were pressing the end of it into her throat, I guess trying to strangle her or break her neck. Obviously trying to kill her. I might add that my SIL probably weighs 90 lbs soaking wet. Luckily, a neighbor came driving by and when the men heard the vehicle, they ran. The neighbor saw the busted door, stopped to investigate, found my SIL and called for help. These men still haven't been caught! They better pray that the law finds them before my brother does...


  Needless to say, this whole thing terrified me made me a little nervous. Well, Hub's had to leave town early Tuesday morning and wouldn't be returning until yesterday evening. I didn't even hear about what happened Sunday, until he had already left. So here I was, like a sitting duck, a mile off any road, down in the woods, with four kids, 30 miles from the nearest police station,  and no neighbors close enough to hear us scream. To say I was tense, is an understatement. You couldn't have dragged a needle outta my butt with a tractor! Renni works evenings and said she would come spend the nights and days here. Then we would only be alone for a short time before Fiance would come by after his day job and spend the evenings with us, until Renni came home, around midnight.

  As a side note, I have to let you know that Hub's is a notorious under-reactor. Nothing rattles his cage. Mainly because he lived a fairy tale childhood and had lived on this same street for most of his life. He thinks that most folks are good people and never mean any real harm. Coming from a completely different upbringing, I know what wackjobs are lurking out there. Hubs tends to foofoo away my concerns, thinking I am just overly paranoid, due to my past.

  So anyway, on Tuesday, after learning what happened to SIL, I call Hubs on his cell and tell him the whole story and try to convey to him how terrified I am. He says, " I really don't think you have anything to be concerned about." I wanted to scream! Damn you for not being worried about us! Damn you for not hopping in your truck and rushing home to protect us! Really, I didn't expect him to risk his job and come rushing home, but at the very least, he should have pretended that was what he wanted to do. But he didn't. He made me feel stupid for being so afraid and for needing someone to stay with us.

Count And Re-Count Your Chickens

  Most of y'all know that I have wanted some chickens for a long time and that Hub's figured out how to put off buying me any chickens until he could count them as my birthday present ( see copper wire comment). Anyway, he ended up buying me 24 chicks. I have kept them in a heated box, switching them to larger boxes along the way, since April 20. I've babied them, fed them plenty, and even put antibiotics in their water. Well, they should have had a pen built a while ago. I have begged Hubs to help me but he was too busy. Before going out of town, he handed me a roll of chicken wire from the back of the truck and told me to figure it out.

  On Wednesday afternoon, Fiance, Selly, and I, set to work, fixing up the chickens a place outside. I already had a huge, square, dog lot with a door. Hubs had told me to line the inside with the chicken wire and they should be fine there until we could build their permanent place. That's what we did. We put all the chickens out there. They even had a house inside there with a heat lamp. They were doing great when we went to bed that night. That night, Renni informs me that she has to leave at 8 a.m. the next morning, as there has been a change in the work schedule...

   After Renni leaves the next morning, I hear the coon dogs going crazy. None of my dogs ( the intelligent ones) are barking. I look out the window and see that two of Hub's dogs have gotten out of their runs and are tag teaming the chicken coop. One will jump on the side of the cage, making the chickens fly to the other side in fright. Then, the coon dog on the other side would grab them by the neck and pull them through the wire. My first thought was to run outside and stop them, but then I saw chickens running around outside the fence. This made my blood run cold. What if someone had turned the dogs and chickens loose, just to get me out of the house? The way they had restrained my SIL's dog, just so she would come out to look for it.

  I decide to go to the window and scream at the dogs. At the same time, I dial Hub's cell and tell him what is happening. He doesn't believe me as his dogs would never chase chickens. He told me to go out there and I told him that I was too afraid and didn't want to take a chance and put that much distance between myself and the house, where my babies were sleeping. Honestly, I was terrified that if I stepped out that door, someone might be waiting to jump me, kill me, and then do Lord knows what to my babies. Hub's refused to call any of his friends that live close, to come help me. He basically told me that  I needed therapy and said he didn't have time for this and hung up the phone. I got on the phone, calling anyone I could think of to come help me. Finally, one of Renni's friends came over and helped me get the dogs put away. There were only six chickens left. I got my guard dog and brought her inside with me and the kids and locked up the house.

  When Hub's got home yesterday evening, I made a point to be nice and not throw off on his dogs. I knew he was really upset that they would chase anything other than a coon. He just couldn't help himself, he had to keep making little smart ass comments referring to my being too scared to leave the house. See, he is one of those people that will make little comments and then, when you snap and rip him a new one, he acts hurt and shocked, swearing that he meant nothing by it, you took it the wrong way, and jumped him for no reason. At first it was, "Well, I hate that. There was really no reason for it to happen..." Then, " You mean you stood at the window screaming and watched the dogs kill all the chickens?" Finally, " If I had've been here, this would never had happened. I would have stopped them. I would've done more than just yell at them..." That did it, I lost it...

  "Exactly! IF you had been here, it wouldn't have happened. IF you had been here, I would have gone out myself and stopped it because then I wouldn't have been afraid to leave the babies in the house! BUT YOU WEREN'T HERE! You were too busy telling me I was crazy to even bother calling someone to help me. You were too busy to help me make a decent place for the chickens weeks ago, like you PROMISED. YOU are such a pig that you would honestly mock me for being afraid when most other men wouldn't have wanted their wives or girlfriends to take the risk, considering what just happened five miles over the road. Hell, I'll get on the phone right now, call up all your friends and ask them just what they would have had me do in such a situation. Then tell them what you had to say about it. Then they will all know what an uncaring ass you are!!!!! When they tell their wives to call if they need them THEY ACTUALLY MEAN IT!"

  Of course, then he said I was being mean to him for no reason. That I hurt his feelings. But I really do think that I did the right thing. Chickens can be replaced. People cannot. All the women I have asked so far have said they would have handled it the same way. All the men I have asked have said they would have wanted me to handle it the same way. I really, really, think I was right. I really, really, think Hub's is wrong.




  1. I am glad he is your husband and not mine! I would have had to kill him and hide the body in the woods a long time ago.

    He was being a butt!

  2. Sounds like you had a crazy week! I hope your sister in law recovers quickly. That has to be really traumatic. Thank God the neighbor arrived just it time. Your husband doesn't sound too bad. He's just a man, that's all. Have a wonderful weekend!

  3. That's really scary!! Have they found anything out and is your SIL alright? But why would they choose her? Did they know she was home alone? I would love to meet up with the bastards! I would love to crush their skulls!
    And you should make DH sleep in the coup that you build! I call it the testicle theory! If they have balls they can't think, it causes an overload!

  4. Thanks for the comments, folks!
    SonyaAnn, click the email link on my profile and send me your email and I will send you the rest of the details that I have learned. Just stuff I am not extremely comfortable posting publicly...


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