*MY HAREM!* Look At All These Beautiful Faces! Follow Me! And Try To Keep Up, For Pete's Sake!!


More Randomness

No pics this time. Just random stuff I needed to rant about, that couldn't wait for Top Ten Thursday or Go Figure Friday...

My Brain Has Turned To Mashed Puh-taters...

Renni, like me, puts a lot of thought into buying gifts. We just aren't gift card giving gals. She especially puts a lot of thought into Hub's birthday gift each year. Electronic measuring tapes, work benches for his shop etc... Well this year, she presented him with an awesome flashlight/thermometer/alarm clock/timer doojigger. A couple of weeks ago, Hubs finally got around to putting batteries in it. He handed it over to me to set the time etc... as he hates fooling with that sort of thing. The temp and time were already displayed on the screen. But the time was wrong and the temp was Celsius. I moved the little doo-dad to Mode and set about trying to adjust the settings. No matter what I did, the settings wouldn't budge. However, in the background, I could see a faint image of the new settings, but the bolder ( and incorrect) time and temp display pretty much blocked my view of the correct ones. I finally gave up as there were no instructions. I made up my mind to just not tell Renni that her gift wouldn't work and risk hurting her feelings.

  Last night, I was chatting on the phone with my sister, when Hubs came into the kitchen and picked up the little flashlight, hoping to see what the temperature was. I told him that I never could fix it. But I took it from him, going to give it one more shot. As I was about to give up again, it hit me, the wrong time and temp settings that I couldn't change or see through were actually a FREAKING STICKER, placed on the screen for display purposes! I felt like such a schmuck! Plus, my sister was on the phone and heard the whole thing, adding to my embarrassment. At any rate, we had a good laugh.

House Of Horrors...

  I hate to be out of my comfort zone with the little kids. Comfort Zone = Our home, where everything poisonous is locked away, all the sharp corners are padded, and most breakable things are kept really high up. I'm sure I am not the only parent who has dealt with a grandparent that constantly hounds me to bring the kids to see them, yet does absolutely nothing to child-proof their home. Such is the case with Hub's mother. She makes him feel guilty for not bringing the kids by more. He in turn tries to make me feel guilty. Actually, I don't feel guilty, as my babies are irreplaceable and I would never forgive myself if something were to happen to them.

  Plus, there is the fact that she tends to make little remarks that make me crazy. Like asking Hubs if he lost his razor or if the iron is broken etc...  always throwing a glance to me when she says such things. Which makes me want to scream, "Look lady, he has stubble on his face, because he stayed out hunting until 3 a.m., slept most of the day, then chose to lie on the sofa watching Nascar for the two hours it took me to bathe both the little kids, get them dressed, bathe myself, get me dressed, then find something for him to wear, all without any help from him. Sorry I don't have a third arm, so I could also shave him in the process! And FYI, I don't iron T-shirts! Hell, I don't iron anything! I'm not Donna Reed and neither are you! Selly told me how you sweep dirt  up under your kitchen rug!" But, I never do.

  Well this time was a little different... I agreed to go for a visit, not from guilt, but just so Hub's would shut up about it. Really, that was the ONLY reason. After all, I am not a glutton for punishment and I have been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. So, Lord help me, we load everyone up and go.

  The first thing Tallen says when we arrive is, "I'm Firsty". So, I watch, as she goes to the fridge, takes out a gallon pitcher that has maybe 4 inches of iced tea in it. Then she carries it to the sink, turns on the faucet and fills it up with water. Then proceeds to pour Tallen a cup of it! I'm annoyed, but feeling pretty sure that nobody has ever died from drinking watered down tea,so  I say nothing as Tallen happily sips on it. She never offered any of the rest of us a drink and sometime, during the 2.5 hellish hours we were there, I got thirsty and poured myself a glass of the tea. BARF! Not only was it watered down, it was completely rotten! Anyone who appreciates good iced tea knows when it has turned bad.

  So anywho, just as it goes anytime we visit someone in Hub's family, he completely enjoys himself, while I do all of the child chasing, diaper changing, booboo kissing, nosey question answering etc... Well, Ross goes toddling into the kitchen and trips over one of the 5 rugs that MIL has on the floor at the doorway and bumps her head on the floor. I see it happening but, like seeing a train wreck, all I could do was watch, as I couldn't reach her in time to stop it. As her head pops the floor, I wince and say, "shit!", under my breath. I also said "shit" again later but I can't remember if it was one of the 6 or 7 other times that Ross hit her head or when she found a fake flower with a pointy, sharp, dagger thing on the end ( obviously saved from some floral arrangement) and when I spotted her with it, she ran. Sheesh, I nearly had a heart attack!

  All the while, poor Tallen keeps alphabetizing video cassettes that MIL has stacked on the hearth. Instead of just leaving them be, until after we leave, she keeps changing them back as soon as Tallen has finished, worried that her, still living with Mama, 45 year old son, might go off the deep end, if they aren't just as he left them. So of course, Tallen would alphabetize them again. He can't help it. I had to giggle when she pointed out to me, the "beautiful scarf" that her adult grandson, who is in the military had given her. It was so pretty, she said, she had hung it in front of the fireplace. She was disheartened to learn ( after I pointed it out to her), that it was actually  an Iraq flag. Apparently, she thought the writing on it was Hebrew.

  All the while, Hub's was just chillin'. Reading the paper, looking at old yearbooks, etc... He kept telling me to come look at this or that. Finally, I snapped and said, " I would love to but I'm busy minding OUR children while YOU enjoy yourself! This is the very reason that I rarely leave the house." Then, after only holding Ross for a minute, he told me I needed to get her because holding her was making his arm sore. I gave him THE LOOK and he said, " Well, I have a bad arm..." I replied, "Well, I have LYME DISEASE AND A TUMOR IN MY NECK! NOW, PLEASE HOLD THE BABY!" He didn't argue...

  Finally, we left. As we were backing down the drive he said solemnly, " I can't believe you said 'shit' in front of my mother." I replied, " I can't believe I didn't say 'shit' in front of your mother, more times than I did. I can't believe you sat on your arse, while I did all the hard stuff. I can't believe YOU didn't say 'shit' in front of your mother, after all, you say it in front of me enough. Oh and NEWSFLASH your mother says 'shit', just like the rest of us, plus a few other bad words." This convo took place in pissy whispers in the front seat. Tallen shouted from the back, " I'm hungry!" Hubs looked at my tired, frustrated, face and asked, "How about we drive to town for burgers?" I think that was his way of saying he was sorry. I said,  "OK." I think that was my way of saying that I accepted his apology...

Good times... Good times...



  1. I personally think that if you did have a third arm, you should use it to slap the shit out of you precious MIL. If you would like you can borrow my arm. And I have found that nothing gets a man moving like an insulting wee-wee comment. Just a thought!!!

  2. Oh man... Yeah, I can see why you don't like to visit her too often. My opinion? Ask her to visit you instead. Either that or Hubs can go see her on his own. Seriously, if he won't help you once you get there then it's really not worth it... unless of course he's willing to do something as a family that HE doesn't like to do!

  3. Hugs!!!! I'm so grateful my MIL is dead! Yeah, she was that bad!!!

  4. LOL, Yall! Thanks for the suggestions. But for real, if she visits here, the comments are ten times as bad... Plus, she invites Hub's ex-wife to all the cookouts and dinners, then wonders why I choose not to show up. I think that if very disrespectful.

  5. She invites hub's ex. Seriously, slap the crap out of her. I'll help you!


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