Top Ten Six Thursday

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Welcome to Top Ten Six
Thursday! I created this meme to add a little bit of variety to Frump Day ( no longer Hump Day, not yet Friday...) If you would like to participate, just create your own Top Ten post about anything your heart desires and add the link below. Everyone is welcome to join in. This should get really interesting...

Top Ten Six News Worthy Things That Happened This Week (In No Particular Order)

1. Apparently, Tumors Are Like Rats

They say, if you see one rat, there are plenty more hiding in the walls. Well, it seems that, even though I only felt one lump in my neck, the scan actually located four growths. My doctor read me the whole report, giving exact sizes etc... But, the minute I heard there were four, my head started pounding and every noise became an echo, so I have no idea what she said.  I am amazingly calm about the whole thing, so far. The doctor said that if I were able to choose which cancer to get, Thyroid cancer would be the best one, as it has a high recovery rate. I still have to visit a specialist, before I will know whether they are benign or not.

2. I Lost A Follower Yesterday

I can't help but think that it might be because I dared to include the word "shit" in one of my posts. Oh well, sorry for being real...

3.Selly's Mom Was Released From The Pokey Yesterday

I hesitated to post this as somehow, even though it shouldn't, I feel like it reflects poorly on me. But, just so everyone knows, I've never even met the woman. After Hub's and his ex split up, a judge granted him custody of Selly, when she was just 3 years old. Then, Selly's mom decided that she was going to show Hub's just how rich she could become on her own, she bought a big new house and was driving fancy cars, nobody could figure out how she was financing all these things, as she had no job. Before long, she was arrested for transporting some ungodly amount of meth in her car with the intent to sell. She was sentenced to 9 years in Federal prison. I think that she may have reduced her time a little by behaving.

At any rate, she hasn't so much as called or even sent a card to Selly, since Christmas before last. Yesterday, Selly received a B-day card from her. No letter, just a card. I assume this means that she is going to try and initiate contact with Selly in person. Which is fine, as long as she calls first and doesn't think she can just show up here. There'd just better be no drama, as the last thing I am in the mood for now is drama.

Just to make you all feel better, I will also point out that Hub's, even though he isn't the model husband at times, has always been a model citizen. And that I, even though I have a short fuse and a twisted sense of humor, have never even had so much as a traffic ticket.

4.The Grand Poobah Of Bojangles Called Me Yesterday

No kidding! He called me from his cell phone even! You see, when Renni took me to the doctor, after I found the lump in my neck, we drove through at Bojangles and I bought a large iced tea. Just as we were leaving the lot, I took a sip and it was rotten ( yes, I know, my family is cursed with tasting rotten tea lately lol). So Renni pulled right back up to the window and I told the lady there the problem. She offered me a soda and I told her that I would rather have fresh iced tea, assuming that the only reason I had been given old tea was that it was the last in the vat and a new supply was waiting to be poured in. She told me "sure" and soon, I had another large iced tea. We leave again, I take a sip and nearly spit it out. She had given me weak, unsweetened tea, that she had ( I think) tried to doctor up with a packet of sugar. I said heck with it and when I got home, I sent an email from their website.

Anyway, the man who called was super nice. He said that since they were famous for their iced tea, he surely did not want people being served bad tea. He went to the store where this happened and had them make tea four times in a row and serve it to him, to refresh them in the proper procedure. I felt bad about that. As all I wanted was a refund for my tea and usually the place has great tea and great service. But, as it stands now, he is sending me vouchers for 2 free dinners...

5. Tallen Visited His First Junkyard

Hubs needed a part for an old truck he's working on and so, while I was out with Renni and Worra on Tuesday, he took Tallen with him to visit our local shade tree mechanic, Hairy Greg. ( Yes, I know this is a horrible sounding name, but the guy really is one of the hairiest people that I have ever seen. I gave him that nickname years ago and mean it in the nicest way possible. Greg is a popular name around these parts and this helps folks know who we are talking about LOL i.e. Drunk Greg, Skinny Greg, Pot Bellied Greg, Freckled Greg etc...) Anyway, Hairy Greg hopped in the truck with Hubs and Tallen and they set off to the far reaches of his property, where he keeps all the junked out cars.

Hubs said that Tallen's eyes lit up as they topped the hill and he saw all the junk cars spread out below them. Thrilled, he said, " This place is DIRTY! This is the dirtiest place I have ever seen! This is Junk Land!"  There were old school buses there and everything! He was so excited I think, because he and Ross had watched Elmo in Grouchland, about a month ago. Bless his heart, he told me yesterday that his shoes were all muddy from walking around Junk Land. I wasn't thinking and replied, "They sure are! We need to wash them." He left the kitchen and returned a few minutes later, his shoes full of water. He had tried to "wash" them in the bathroom sink!

6. Fajitacorn And The Green Bastard

Excuse the odd title. I won't explain, as y'all probably wouldn't find it nearly as amusing as Renni, Worra, and I did. A "you had to be there" kind of thing. Anyway, I told them that I would use that as the title for this entry and they did not think I would.

Anywho, on Tuesday night, Renni, Worra, and I decided we should go out to dinner again. Renni's fiance came along too. Because he loves to chauffeur a carload of laughing goofballs around town. We wanted to go to our favorite Mexican eatery, but it was May 5th and the place was jam packed. So, after a bit of discussion, we decided to go to another Mexican restaurant across town. BAD IDEA. The fact that, even though it was Cinco de Mayo,  the place was as empty as a casting call for a Valtrex commercial, should have been our first clue...

A little blond lady (BL) came over, led us to our booth, then took our drink orders. We all asked for Coke. No sooner had had she disappeared around the corner than a little Latino lady (LL) comes rushing over with two glasses of Coke and asked, "Who had these?" Were like, "we all ordered Coke." She tosses down four UNWRAPPED straws and walks away. Then here comes BL back to the table, carrying two Cokes. She's like, "Who gave those to y'all?" We all point to LL, who is now over on the other side of the restaurant. She asks if we are ready to order and we aren't, so she walks away. After a couple of minutes, LL comes rushing over and asks, really pissy like, if we are ready to order. We are, so we do. Renni, Worra, and I, all order the same thing, except that Renni also orders an appetizer of Chicken Fajita Nachos, for all of us to share. Now Fiance orders TEXAS FAJITAS. Remember that, it's important. During the whole process, we all point to the picture on the menu of what we are asking for, as we tell her.

Well, after a while, ALL of our food is delivered to the table at once. Our Hyper Waiter (HW) ( yes, you counted correctly, this would make the THIRD person to wait on our table) shows up wearing big oven mitts and, as he sets each of our chicken enchiladas on the table, he screams at us, " NO TOUCH! NO TOUCH! VERY HOT!!!!!" We had better not touch that food and he damn well meant it! Then he says quietly, "Enjoy." Afraid to touch my plate, I wonder should I attempt to slurp up my enchilada, using a dirty straw from the table. As even the slightest move of hand toward fork, sent him into his, "NO TOUCH!" frenzy. He didn't scream when he sat down the rest of the food, I'm guessing that it hadn't been microwaved for as long as the enchiladas were. He walks away, carrying one entree with him. Seeing the empty space in front of Fiance, BL shouts to HW, "Hey! That goes here!" HW replies, "NO! This is California Burrito, not Texas Fajita!" Well, she gives him THE LOOK, and soon he comes back to the table and plops the mattress size burrito down in front of Fiance. Fiance tells him, "This isn't what I ordered. I ordered the Texas Fajitas and this is a burrito." I swear, with a straight face, HW smiles and says, " Yes, this is it. California Texas Fajita Burrito. That is your order." He walks away.

We all stare at one another, in disbelief. Blink. Blink.  Over walks LL and snaps, " Is everything OK?" Fiance tells her it isn't, because the food in front of him is NOT what he ordered. She says, "Yes it is. That is the California Burrito." Fiance says, "Right! But I ordered TEXAS                   FAJITAS!" We all say "Texas Fajitas" in unison with him. She says, " Yes. That's what it is. Texas Fajita. DO YOU WANT TO SEE A MENU ?!" At the point, we ladies are about to pee ourselves laughing.

Fiance says heck with it and gives up. But, just as he is about to stick his fork into Burrzilla, BL walks over and asks if everything is OK. We tell her about the food mix up and she changes the subject and says, " Y'alls' appetizer came out with your entrees, didn't it?" We nod. "Alright, well, I'm gonna talk to the manager and have that knocked down to half price for y'all. Sorry she (cutting her eyes to LL, across the room) screwed that up. We're working on getting all of them out of here. Then it'll be nothing but Americans waiting on folks. She stole y'all from me. She watched me take your drink order and then ran over here and took your food order, while I was gone." We all give each other a " Holy crap! Did she just say that? / Marvy! Just Marvy! We're dining at Race War del Grande!" look.

She walks away and then it begins. The manager and what seemed to be every other employee in the place starts checking on us every two minutes. Except for LL, whom they stop in her tracks, whenever she starts for our table. This was meant to be the anti- piss off technique. But instead, it made us feel rushed and miserable. When we finally go to the counter to pay, we tell them that we need to divide up the ticket. The manager asks Renni and Fiance what they had. Renni tells him that, while she knows what she had, she has absolutely no clue what her Fiance has just consumed. She tells him what Fiance ordered and points to the picture on the menu. He asks, " But that isn't what was brought to the table?" She shakes her head. "And you were given the wrong item again when you sent it back?" We all say at the same time, " Sent it back? They wouldn't take it back..." Then we explain the whole California Texas Fajita Burrito story to him. He said he thought it might be a language issue. I told him that language was NOT the issue but that the attitude was. He gave Renni and Fiance the appetizer and California Texas Fajita Burrito at no charge. As we left, he said, " See you again real soon!" I don't freaking think so...

We discussed that dinner the whole way home and laughed till we cried. It was so surreal...

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