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Thursday

Top Ten Thursday


Welcome to Top Ten Thursday! I created this meme to add a little bit of variety to Frump Day ( no longer Hump Day, not yet Friday...) If you would like to participate, just create your own Top Ten post about anything your heart desires and add the link below. Everyone is welcome to join in. This should get really interesting...



Top Ten Silly Things That I Have Heard/Seen Before

1.My Oldest sister (not Worra), once got in a heated argument with me, because I disagreed with her notion that Mount Rushmore is a natural occurrence.

2 That same sister, upon seeing a Bald Eagle on TV, commented, "That ain't no Bald Eagle! It's got feathers on it's head!" ( I guess, when she envisions a Bald Eagle, she sees a buzzard.

3. Her husband would always yell at their son for reaching past the end piece and choosing another piece of bread from the loaf, because, as he said, " All the vitamins are in the end pieces and the crust".

4. Again, that same sister, if her temperature was ever below 98.6, swore that she had a low-grade fever and declared herself sick, for the rest of the day

5.When I was a kid, I had to live for a couple of years, with my cousin and her husband. They argued with me, up one side and down the other, that every star in the night sky is a planet. It was so frustrating, being a gifted child and living with idiots...

6. This same cousin and then later, two of her grown nieces, accidentally inserted a birth control suppository into her Urethral orifice, on two separate occasions. I have no idea how her nieces handles the situation, when it happened to them. As for my cousin, I was living with her when this happened the first time, and am sure that her screams were probably heard clear to China! I can't even fathom how all of those gals did that...

7.My mother swears and beholds that Pocahontas came to her school, when she was in the first grade, and read a story to the class. I have pointed out to her that Pocahontas passed away in 1617 and that it had to have been someone dressed as her and just playing a part. So far, I haven't convinced her.

8. My grandmother used to be very involved in soap operas. She was also very religious. One Sunday, when they were taking prayer requests, she stood before the congregation and asked that they pray for some man, on one of her "stories", that was in a coma...

9. I have another cousin who, when she was almost 20 years old, got very stressed out and stopped eating, she basically remained in her room, avoiding the rest of her family. When her mother made her spill the beans about what was bothering her, she announced that she was pregnant. Startled, her mother demanded to know who the father was. The cousin said she did not know, for sure. This nearly gave her mother heart failure. The girl went on to explain that, though she had never yet had a boyfriend, she had been having dirty thoughts etc... Now her period was late and she was sure that God was punishing her and that now, she was with child.

10. Back when I was a waitress, a group of friends sat in my section one night. I ask for their drink orders in turn, when I came to one girl, she asked in a worried tone, " Do y'all have Mt. Dew or Mello Yello?" Her friends start snickering. She says, "Shut up Y'all!". When I told her that we served Mello Yello, she gave a relieved smile and said, "Great! That's what I'll have.". Her friends' laughter grew louder. Concerned that I must have something in my teeth or ink on my face, I asked them just what was so funny. Rolling her eyes, the girl says, " They're laughing at me, because I won't drink Mt. Dew. But I'm going to have the last laugh, because at leastwon't die of prostate cancer!" Her friends absolutely roared. It seems the girl had heard the rumor that Mt. Dew causes prostate cancer. Nobody told the poor thing that she had nothing to worry about. I made sure she knew better, before she left that evening.



6 comments:

  1. Birth control suppository? What on earth? I think I missed a decade.

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  2. Once again you made me laugh but for the life of me I'm not getting #6. Now I have used them, (yes, I'm a sinner) but I can't for the life of me figure how it would fit. Really, it would be like trying to get your thumb in there. WHY? I can honestly say you are cursed with idiots.

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  3. LOL Betty Jo!
    Sonya Ann, I have never been able to wrap my brain around #6 either. Like what sort of physical mutation one would need to have, for those two places to be that close together. Or what sort of brain mutation it would take, to not realize they had the wrong spot, BEFORE putting that thing all the way in!

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  4. What kind of sex is she having?

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  5. LOL!!!! Good lord! It's amazing you now have a full complete brain to think with, being surrounded by such idiots would be enough to turn anyone's brain into pudding.

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