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Coming Up For Air

This has felt like one of the longest weeks of my life...

Over last weekend and the first of this week, Tallen was sick. With the stomach pains that he was having, I was afraid that he might have a hernia. But I spoke to others that had been through a stomach virus that is making rounds lately and they said that they hurt exactly the same place as Tallen. The on call nurse and I agreed to just watch and see and he was better by the next day.

However, he has still put me through the wringer for the rest of the week. On Monday evening, he started pacing the floors and crying, saying he needed to go to town. Renni, feeling sorry for him, loaded him up and took him out for Japanese food. She knew he would get a kick out of seeing Sushi for the first time. Well, he enjoyed his dinner of some sort of cucumber rolls. She even made a video, so I know he was fine during dinner. Then they went to Walmart, where he was supposed to pick out a small toy or something as a surprise. Well, he kept waiting and waiting and wouldn't decide and eventually Renni needed to leave, as she had work the next morning.

Well, he walked in the door here, crying about needing to go back to town. All night, he wailed and cried about town and missing Renni, etc... He even woke up Ross in the middle of the night, who then added to the hullabaloo. Finally, he passed out at around dawn. When his feet hit the floor, a few hours later, the first the he said was, "Mama! I have to get back to town!" Thus began another day of his pacing the floors, ranting about needing to get back to town. Needing to get to Walmart to pick out a surprise. There was no consoling him. Let me tell you, when he gets something on his mind, he repeats it endlessly, never tiring. This went on into the late night on Tuesday.

On Wednesday, I could have cried, when he woke up doing the very same thing. I dealt with it all day, trying to comfort him and explain things to him, but nothing worked. Finally, Renni called and said that she would take him to town that night. I got him dressed to go out and he paced in the kitchen for over two hours, waiting for her to arrive. Renni took him to Subway, his favorite place to eat. Then she took him to Walmart and Dollar Tree. He was fine. Everything was fine. Until, they started to bring him home. He cried all the way here and then cried for several hours after arriving home. Ranting and raving about needing to return to town.

When he woke on Thursday, it was the same thing all over again. We had Girls Night Out on Thursday night and, even though I badly needed a break from Tallen, I decided to take him along, as he wanted to go to town so much. I had actually planned on taking Ross, but she passed out on the sofa just before we left and I figured she could catch up on some sleep with Tallen out of the house. He was fairly quiet during dinner, looking as though he might fall asleep. I swear, he told me once, " I miss the country, I need to get back there." We then went to Walmart, where he kept insisting that he needed to leave and go to Renni's house. He didn't want my sister to get out of the car at her house. He begged her to come home with him. Then, he talked all the way to our house about needing to go to Renni's house. Again, he went on and on, until the wee morning hours about needing to go back to town and to Renni's house.

Yesterday was the same thing for the most part. He was fairly normal during the morning, but by evening, he was crying because the sun was setting. before that, he was crying because he wanted to go outside and it was raining. Then, all through the night, he cried for Renni. Talking about how much he loves and misses her and that he won't ever see her again.

He has never had an episode this bad. He has refused to use the computer all week. He has refused to watch TV. He has shown no interest in his schoolwork. It breaks my heart. All of this is very real to him, even though it may seem minimal to others. I am hoping he gets back to himself real soon. For his sake and ours.

Now, not being able to predict the week we were about to have. We got 4 boxes of locally grown tomatoes, so I could put up cans of tomato juice and homemade salsa. With Ross running about, this can only be worked on at certain times. In between Tallen's episodes, canning tomatoes, and chasing Ross, I have been absolutely exhausted. I feel like I have had the life sucked right out of me. Maybe even a gnat's breath away from a nervous breakdown. Throw into that mix, having to be the psychic caregiver to Hubs ( One is supposed to know what he wants, without his having to ask for it) and it was almost too much to handle. So, I have been far too tied up to blog. I haven't even had time to check email. Right at this moment, Ross is running about, having woke up at around 3 AM. I am hoping and praying that things get better, or at least that God blesses me with a little more energy.


  1. Let me tell you what, Dawna, I totally, totally understand what you are going through. My own (adopted) teen daughter is Fetal Alcohol, and she has episodes like this, but not as extreme. When she was younger, I thought I was going to lose my mind. Now that she is 18, it is a little better, but there still is a lot of stress. At one point, I informed Hubs that if he didn't grow up and start accepting this situation, and helping me, I was going to check myself into a mental facility somewhere!! That got his attention!!!!

    God will help you through, just keep repeating that. Just like He says in the bible, "Be not dismayed, for I am with Thee..."

    You can Do This!!

  2. Yikes that week would wear me out too! I hope this up coming week is better for you. I have had times like this with my autistic son but not as bad as you. I can't take him to the store because he takes forever to pick something out. To many decisions and over stimulation for my son. Again I hope the upcoming week goes much more smoother!

  3. Big hugs for you! I hope you get some rest and that next week is better for you.


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