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Go Figure Friday or Things That Made Me Go "Hmmm..." This Week - Worrying Myself Sick Edition

Everyone is welcome to play along!
Just leave a link to your GFF post below.

Here are this week's head scratchers and such...

This will probably be my longest post ever ( and that's saying something!) as I am terribly worried about my oldest sister. This is not the sister that I go out with for Girl's Night. This sister, whom I'll call "C", is rarely mentioned on my blog, mainly because I usually can't even bring myself to mention her and her situation. Right now, she is missing and we can't find her anywhere. I'll get to that but let me tell y'all a little about her...

She is the oldest of us 8 kids and is now 50 years old. She has some mental issues and I blame them, every single one, on our mama. Nearly from the time that C made it out of diapers, she was changing diapers, cooking, cleaning, and watching younguns all the time. Mama never had a nurturing bone in her body. Why she kept having kids, I have no idea. But she did. And she so depended on C to do the job that she should have been doing as our mother that, when she brought a new baby home, the crib was placed in the room with C, so she could tend to them at night as well. That's just how it was. All of us kids had to work around the house but C had to do the biggest part, plus show us what to do.

Mama treated C and the rest of us like little dogs. She treated our Daddy the same way. C was even made to get a job at 15 and every payday Mama promptly took her money. She wasn't even able to use a dime of it to maybe for once purchase some fashionable clothes or anything for herself. Well, when she turned 16, she got married. I am sure she did this just to get away. The marriage did not work out and by the time daddy passed away in January of ,79, she had moved back home with her infant son.

She could have become a stable person in our lives but, out of rebellion against years of never getting to do anything, she went the other way. Our older brother's moved in with other relatives when Daddy died. The left me, my middle sister, my baby brother, C and her son, and Mama. Well, Mama had moved a new man in within a week of Daddy's death. This started a pattern of Mama sleeping with one man after another. literally, she would drive up with a strange man and, without even a "hello" to us kids, they would walk through to her bedroom and shut the door. C became just as bad. "Dating" one guy after another. Sometimes she and Mama even fought over the same guy. Some nights, my middle sister "Odeffa" and I would be made to sleep in the same twin bed while C was sharing the other twin bed with a guy. It was disgusting and we girls lived through and saw things that no child should ever have to deal with. Also, at ages 7 and 11, we were left to mother our 3 year old brother and infant nephew, while the only adults did as they pleased.

This went on for a long time and finally our Mama married our evil step-dad. he did not get on well with C and Mama, never having been the type to ever put her child before a man, made C and her son move out. This actually worked out for the best, as C went on to beauty school and completely changed. She was a hard worker who kept a nice house and supported her son. She did end up living with a much older man ( y'all will faint if I ever tell you the rest of that story.). But all in all, she was doing well for herself. Then, when I was 13, she split up with the older guy and started dating the man that she would eventually marry. He was a real jerk. But what the heck...

So, they got married and for some reason, she quit her job as a beautician. She became a compulsive shopper and also a compulsive eater. I mean, she had food hidden all over and would eat out at least 3 times a day. Her husband was always borrowing money and not paying it back. Had they not lived in a house owned by his uncle, they would have been on the street for paying no rent! Over the years, she became morbidly obese. Her husband always put her down and said she was fat. Which she was but making fun of her was not going to help matters. Finally, a few years back, she lost enough weight on her own to safely get a gastric bypass. She melted down to 95 pounds. Odeffa and I worried that with no counseling, she would apply the food addiction to something else. We were right. Anyway, now her husband told her that all that loose skin was disgusting and that he couldn't bear to look at her or touch her. He did however start kissing up to her about the time she received an insurance settlement for an injury she had gotten. He talked her into buying him a Harley and then left her for another woman.

She fell all to pieces and started drinking some. She wouldn't listen to me and my sister, and eventually let him cheat her out of almost everything. We did convince her to give us power of attorney, before going in for another surgery, as they were not divorced yet and we feared he might take her off life support if it came to that. Well, we were always hearing from her that she was doing fine. She would call often wanting to borrow money. We wondered why she was spending her disability and alimny so fast, when she no longer spent it on food. Then she started coming round and trying to sell us stuff. Sometimes I bought things to help her out. Eventually, it got to the point that she was broke with a day or so of receiving her checks each month. Then, after comparing stories, odeffa and I realized that she had been telling us huge lies to get money from us. We confronted her and she denied doing drugs.

About 2 years ago, she began dating a scum bag just over the line in Virginia. We have known of him and his druggy family all our lives. We asked why she would lower herself to date a drunk/dope head and she told us that we just needed to get to know him and that he wasn't like we thought. Then we started hearing of him beating her. He was also bringing other women home and making out with them, daring her to say anything. She left him many times but always returned. We felt sure it was because he provided her with drugs. None of the times that she left him did he ever call looking for her.

Well, a couple of months ago, she left him and started staying in an abuse shelter, so he couldn't find her. Odeffa and I could call and talk to her as long as we knew her 4 digit extension. Slowly she began going back to visit this jerk. We know this because Odeffa manages a store on the highway she takes to his house and she would stop by almost daily asking Odeffa to buy her cigarettes and give her free coffee, or to borrow gas money. Basicall, all along, we knew we couldn't have her stay with us around our kids. Plus, she didn't want to stay with us because she knew we wouldn't tolerate Jerk Boy and their drug use. but we have always known from day to day where she is and that she is alive.

Out of the blue on Wednesday evening around 9 pm. Jerk Boy calls a friend of C's that hasn't really hung out with her for years. he tells her that he and c just had a big fight and she took off in her Blazer. he says he worked on her fuel pump 2 weeks ago but put it back on wrong and that her Blaser could explode. Well, she calls Odeffa and then she in turn calls me.During the time that we are discussing what to do, Jerk Boy calls the friend back and now says that he hasn't seen C since Monday night and that when he did, she had someone with her that was smoking a huge crack rock. He just keeps blabbing and then changes the story again and says that C is actually off sleeping with the guys in exchange for crack. He then added that the abuse shelter had called him and said that she owed them 500.00 dollars.

It's like he kept trying to adjust the story to make it clear that she had been in a dangerous situation and then altered it to take himself out of the picture. plus the story about the abuse shelter is a red flag as we know for a fact they would not call "the abuser" and tell him anything. Plus, you don't have to pay to reside at an abuse shelter.

We immediately call the police in their county. They tell use the will put out a BOL for her Burgandy Blazer. We are told that they will go down and check things out and call us back within the hour. We also try to call her cell. It is on, rings 6 times, then goes to voicemail. If it were off it would go straight to voicemail. The police never called back and we kept trying to reach her via her cell all night long. i called the police department again at 6:30 a.m. I am told that an officer went to jerk Boys the night we made the report. I am excited to learn what information they have for me. That's when the deputy tells me that he doesn't know what the other deputy discovered, that he now off duty and asleep, but that he will call and wake him in a couple of hours and have him contact me with details. I ask when we can file a missing persons report, he tells me not for 24 hours. I didn't think that is the case if someone has mental problems. I wait all day with no call back. Odeffa and I also try her phone all day, it's on but no answer. Renni and a friend went searching for her in both states and found nothing. they even went and checked at her little part time job and they haven't seen her. About Mid afternoon, odeffa calls the police department again and is told that the man she needs to speak to will call her back in an hour. they never call back.

Odeffa, renni and I decide to go ahead for girl's night as we need to discuss the situation plus maybe try to look some new places. During dinner, we call the police department again. We are told that an officer will call us back in 30 minutes with details. We hear nothing for 2 hours and so call again from Walmart parking lot. We are told 30 more minutes. Finally, an officer calls and I tell him the whole story. I beg him to please go to this guys house and talk to him face to face and see how he keeps changing his story. He says he will go. I ask about the BOL from last night and he looks at the chart and asks me to verify that she is driving a red van! Hell fire, they haven't even been looking for the right vehicle! We try her phone again, still on, voice mail full. BTW this is not like her, she always returns calls and answers her phone if it is with her.

He finally calls Odeffa back around 11 PM last night and says that he went to jerk Boy's house. he says our sister and her car were not there and that the guy says he has not seen her since this past Sunday. he keeps changing the time that he last saw her! The cop seems to care less. he says if she doesn't show up to her part time job at 10: am today, we can file a missing persons report. I can't seem to convey to them that if this guy has hurt her badly, she has been laying where ever for over 24 hours, without medical help.

Really, i cannot shake the feeling that he has killed my sister. I have barely slept since Wednesday night. I want to find her and I think the police are just blowing off how serious this really is. Forgive any typos, I am too tired to correct them...


  1. Ohh hon! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this. I pray she will turn up unharmed and have a full explanation of what's going on. Please keep us posted.

  2. Thank you so much! She finally turned up at her job this morning. Acting like nothing has happened. Said she had been sick and was hiding from jerk Boy, which makes no sense since she was also not checking messages, answering her phone, or returning our calls. Maybe this was a wake up call for us, that we should get better things in plays to prevent this happening again. We are considering having her committed. I know that seems harsh but she really is being reckless, and as she isn't in her right frame of mind, she is putting herself in grave danger all the time. Whether it be due to drugs or what. We can't just sit back and let her destroy herself...

    I dunno, it's like now I have crashed. I was so worried and stressed out, finding out she is OK was such a relief but I also feel like I have had the wind knocked out of me...


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