You Down With OPC?

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I am referring to Other People's Contacts. I can now profess that I am. Yesterday afternoon brought forth one of the strangest, most hilarious, experiences of my life.

It all began yesterday morning, when Renni called on her way to work...
"Hello?"
"Hey Mama. If I come by after work today, will you help me put in my contacts?"
"What?"
"My contacts." I got fitted for contacts yesterday and removed them before I went to bed. Now I can't get them back in."
"Put one on your finger, poke it into your eye. Repeat."
Whining now, "I've tried! I just cannot get them back in."
"Good Lord. How did you ever leave the eye doctor with contacts? They make sure you know how to insert them, before they let you leave."
"Well it took a long time, before I could ever put them in myself and leave. I've been trying all morning and I just can't do it."
"OK, I guess come by and I will show you how to get them in."

Fast forward to last evening...

Renni and Fiance arrive and I try to explain to her how to make them go in. She tried and had no luck, even dropping the contact. I realized that I really was her only hope. I cleaned the contact, made sure it wasn't flipped inside out, and asked her to tilt back her head and help hold open her eye.
*blink blink blink*
"Stop blinking!"
"I can't help it! You're putting your finger in my eye!"
"I'm supposed to be putting my finger in your eye. Now, stop blinking!"
Again, I positioned the contact and moved in for the kill.
*blink blink blink*
I swear, the contact seemed to be four times larger than her eye. She blinked it right off my finger and onto her cheek.
"Ahhhhh! This is insane."
Fiance offered to help hold her eye open. So, with him holding up the top lid and me holding down the lower lid, I tried again.
*blink blink squeeze* She squeezed her eye shut this time.
"I give up!"

Cina, who had been holding her sides laughing from the sidelines, suggested that maybe, if she held open Renni's other eye, she wouldn't be as tempted to shut the eye I was working with. In case you've lost count, there were now three people trying to put in one lousy contact. Fiance also commented that the doctor had asked Renni to look down, as he had put her contact in. So, I had her tilt back her head and look down, as Fiance held her top lid, I held her bottom, and Cina held open the other eye. Once I managed to touch contact to eyeball, I shoved it home. It looked a bit wrinkly but I reckoned she could work that out for herself. Sure enough, with a few blinks, it was smooth as silk.

"Yay!", I cheered, "We did it. Why didn't we get video of this for YouTube?"
Renni looked worried, "It doesn't feel right."
"Well, just give it a minute."
"No, it didn't feel like this yesterday"
Looking to the contact case on the counter, my heart sank. The green lid, with the big letter "R", was still screwed shut, on it's side of the case. Still hopeful, I asked, "
"Do you have the same strength contact for both eyes?" She shook her head, saying that she did not. I could have cried.
"Well folks, we just spent thirty minutes putting her left contact into her right eye." Everyone groaned.
"Oh well", I said, "May as well take it out and get it over with."
"I can't"
"What?!"
"I can't"
"Obviously you can. That's why we are going through this hell, trying to put them back in."
"No really. I'm not even sure how I took them out."
"Well, I am not gouging that thing out of your eye. Just blink it out, pinch it out, whatever you need to do,"  After a few minutes, she finally got it out. Then we all took our positions and managed to get both contacts inserted into the correct eyes. We were all laughing at just how ridiculous this whole event was. Cina, could hardly catch her breath as she laughed asking, " Please tell me. Who else on this planet would that happen to? Only you, Renni!". It's true, she can get into some of the strangest fixes at times....

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