These are actual signs collected from all over. If something makes me laugh, chances are that my readers will find it funny as well. So, here goes...
At the entrance of the large machinery plant: Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.
In a farmer’s field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but be aware that the bull charges.
In a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
In a Maine restaurant: Open seven days a week and weekends.
In a non-smoking area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
In a Pennsylvania cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.
In the front yard of a funeral home: Drive carefully. We’ll wait.
On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)
On a fence: Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.
On a Tennessee highway: Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.
Outside a farm: Horse manure, pre-packed bags, $10. Or, do-it-yourself, $1.
International Signs (Mis-Translations)
Acapulco hotel sign: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
Finnish washroom faucet: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
Istanbul hotel corridor sign: Please to evacuate in hall especially which is accompanied by rude noises.
Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
Roman doctor's office: Specialist in women and other diseases.
Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.