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Some great tips to live by...
No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
Never, under ANY circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Never lick a steak knife.
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
Don't wear polka dot underwear under white shorts.
Past experience should be a guide post, not a hitching post.
The best response to a married man who's hitting on you is, "Say, don't I know your wife?"
It's a medical fact that some women gain weight although they eat only salads.
Only a masochist weighs herself the day after a binge.
Ditto anyone who looks at herself naked in a three-way mirror.
Even Angelina Jolie has some part of her body she hates.
Nothing is sweeter than finding out that the cute boy who dumped you in the 12th grade lives in his mother's basement.
Except going to your high school reunion and seeing that the prom queen shops at Lane Bryant.
Defiantly some great tips! The steak knife one made me giggle! :)
ReplyDelete"Never, under ANY circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night"
ReplyDeleteThat is super funny!! And I will try and refrain from taking both. Can I give them to Den on his way to work when I'm mad at him?